those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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