Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize