I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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