i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
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