No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
