$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We need to rekindle our bromance
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize