What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Fuck appropriateness.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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