What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize