you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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