As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
