left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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