At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
