We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
