I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
