I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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