My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
