You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
