What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
