The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Are we still banned from the library?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
