My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
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