I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
