I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
