dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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