I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
