I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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