He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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