i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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