You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
