wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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