FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
soo... how was my night?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
