there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
