She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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