he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
