Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
