The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize