youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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