What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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