in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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