you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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