u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize