why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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