I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
