Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
