Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
