I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
