Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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