brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
