Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
