dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
