You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
