apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Come share oat with me in your robe
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
