its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
