Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize