Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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