3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
