is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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