The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So much rum. So many feels.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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