He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
