YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the day after is always just damage control
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
