drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
