I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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