I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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