the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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