I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I think i got beer on your cat.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
