we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
