I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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