i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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