he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This baby is an asshole
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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