Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
