you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
