Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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