Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
