You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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