you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize