if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
