If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
