I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
