clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
