So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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