I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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