I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
