My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize