don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
