it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
